Ten Pin Stretch

cover The things that people have recorded to records can simply be outstanding. In the past few years I have come across some golden stuff, whether it be at garage sales or Audio Reader events. My absolute favorite you ask? Why the copy of “Good Housekeeping’s Plan for Reducing the Sporting Way”. I have no idea when this came out. Maybe the 60’s? Either way, here’s a quick description of the record: A narrator’s voice comes on to tell you the name of your exercise and proceeds to give an explanation of how to do it. Queue the relaxing big band music and for the next minute you’ll be exercising away. backcover

The descriptions are great. They are for exercise like “the golf swing” or “tossing the beach ball”. Explaining to you that in order to practice “the good golf swing” you must stand erect. Personally, I would’ve tried it seated. Mind you, these exercises are not intended to be done with the prop. Nope, it’s just you miming it. Do not use an actual bowling ball when you do the “bowling ball fling”. It ends disastrously. The record of course came with an insert that briefly depicts these exercises, has a Q&A section, and even a calorie chart. The Q&A section is absurd. There is one about dieting and they recommend their 1200 calorie diet that at the time you could mail a nickel to them to receive. And what should you wear while performing these you ask? Well they recommend that you don something that’s not very restricting. Top two options given out are “shortie pajamas” or a “bathing suit”. I don’t know about you, but generally any chance I’m given to break out my bathing suit, it’s going to happen. qandaThis record is a fantastic bit of knowledge to have in your corner the next time your friends are discussing their exercise regimens. On a similar note: My office has a box for free items. Co-workers bring the things they have no more use for so other co-workers can sort through them and take gems. Recently several inspirational religious cd’s came to find a home in this box. It was pointed out to me that one contained a fan club application.

Never ever name your fan club the "youth army".

Never ever name your fan club the “youth army”.

Just awful. How did no one stop to say, “Hey, uh, it’s probably not a good idea to refer to your fan club as a ‘youth army’.” If you currently are thinking of starting your own youth army, please do everyone a favor: don’t.

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8 thoughts on “Ten Pin Stretch

    • I wish I could tell you where to find shortie pajamas but truth be told, I don’t know what they are. And yes, she most certainly is holding a sword in one of those pictures. Fencing exercises?

  1. I’ll never forget the day you showed up to work in your bathing suit and tried to get people to “toss the beach ball.” I still can’t believe that HR wrote you up for “lascivious gyrations” but I really do believe you helped a lot of people that day.

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