Parallelogramiverse

Parallel Universes. Yes, I know I’ve already touched base on this in an earlier post but that was more about alternate versions of ourselves. Today we will venture further into the ridiculously fantastic worlds that could just be on the other sides of our mirrors.

Portals to alternate universes are a great way to dive into this. Some people may argue that their are worm holes or perhaps it’s on the other side of that blank space that the Voyager found. I like to think of this in a more practical way. Perhaps it’s like that film “The Prince of Darkness” and mirrors are portals (except they don’t deliver you to Satan). Maybe it’s through your dyer, to play into the myth of disappearing socks. How awesome would it be if it was inside your refrigerator? Just climb in, shut the door, wait 2 minutes, open it up and vuala, you are now in a parallel universe. I just hope they have refrigerators there. A wardrobe, though? No way. Now, before I go further, don’t you crazies out there get the idea of trying to jump into your mirrors, hop into the dryer, or lock yourselves in the fridge.

This week I had a fantastic idea about a possible parallel universe. It’s one very close to our universe, only minute differences within it. The biggest difference is in your hair. Everyone grows hair made of pretzel sticks. It’s like Rolls Gold growing out of your head. Of course they would look like dreadlocks earning them the name dreadzels. Everyone marching around with this crazy, edible, delicious but silly hair. To let someone nibble on your dreadzels would be a very intimate affair and show much trust in that person. Essentially this just becomes like a salted foods version of Avatar.

Imagine the size of the follicles.

Imagine the size of the follicles.

There could also be another universe in which everyone speaks like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. Oh golden, people, golden. I would devote my life to getting to that place. Now I wouldn’t live there but I would set up some sort of portal to it inside my house. Preferably something like a closet door. Then when I throw parties and have people over I could give the tour and say, “Now this is the coat closet and this here is the Swedish Chef Universe door and down the hall…” Anytime I felt down and in the dumps I would just take a 30 minute trip there and surely that would be an instant pick me up.

It would be pretty sweet if there was another where people’s joints were like toys. You know, the limb connected to a weird ball that it pivots on. I’d go there and watch the Olympics. In all seriousness there’s thousands of different possibilites out there so it’s hard to say where to end this. The endless ideas out there could cause this post to run for days. I’ll mention the idea where everyone is a cat wearing a 3 piece suit or the universe like Benjamin Button except for adults are baby size and babies are adult sized. Hopefully this stirs your mind on the topic and leads to some fantastic dinner conversations. Let your minds wander into the parallelogramiverse, folks.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Parallelogramiverse

  1. Do you think that the pretzel hair people would be all grossed out to find stray pretzels in their food? Would they be able to get snack size bags of hair out of the vending machines?

      • I disagree that people with pretzels for hair would still consider pretzels a delicacy. How can something that grows on your head be a delicacy? I don’t see foodies lined up around the block vying to eat my scalp scabs. But then again, maybe I need to drizzle duck liver juice over my scalp scabs to make them more appetizing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s