The judge reinhold and jamie lee curtis in all of us

Who hasn’t seen some version of the Freaky Friday film? Whether it be the original, Vice Versa, Like Father Like Son (ugh, Dudley Moore AND Kirk Cameron), or even the Lohan-stained remake. We know the plot, some parent and their child all of the sudden switch bodies. That is mind of the son in the father’s body and VICE VERSA, hahaha, get it? Like the movie. Anyways, it’s always disappointing that we never venture into the many different scenarios that could come from this that would probably be even more interesting.

Avoid at all costs... I'm not kidding. Unless you want to watch Dudley Moore dance to 1980s MTV.

Avoid at all costs… I’m not kidding. Unless you want to watch Dudley Moore dance to 1980s MTV.

Say one day you woke up and you were inside your grandmothers body and she in yours. Now before you start griping, don’t be so damned selfish. Your grandmother would love to be young again and don’t you dare take that away from her. You, on the other hand, would be riddled with all sorts of new sensations, horrible bladder problems, and more hard candy than you could ever know what to do with. I’d be willing to bet by the end of the week you’d land yourself in a retirement home where of course, I’d swindle away all your meds in a hearty game of shuffleboard. Then not only are you stuck trying to find the crystal monkey skull of unimaginable magic powers to get you and your grandmother switched back but you have to find a way to get out of this assisted living prison. Say you get out and somehow put your dear old grandmother back in the rightful body. Now Grams is stuck with the horrid mess you’ve created of her life. On the other hand, she’s been out, probably wrecking your car and convincing all your friends to start doing the Charleston in the bars. Regaling them with tales of New Years 1923. Oh, and here’s the big whammy, you suffer from memory loss just like your grandmother so you constantly forget that your trying to switch bodies back because everyone around is convincing you that you should be cross stitching or sitting in a rocking chair. I’d certainly sneak in the back door of a movie theater to watch that play out on the silver screen.

Another awful one would be to wake up in the body of an escaped convict on the run from the police 2 states over. How this happens? Dammit, people, I don’t know. I’m merely throwing out suggestions. Anyways, said convict is now off scot free while you are on a run from the police. This almost sounds like the Fugitive if you happen to be Harrison Ford and the convict murdered his wife. Or maybe it could be The Fugitive meets U.S. Marshals meets Freaky Friday. Either way, shitty situation to wake up in. Personally I’d book it for Canada and lay low for a while as I plan out my sinister kidnapping of the convict and hire Harrison “Indiana Jones” Ford to solve the mystery of why we switch and procure the item needed to switch us back. In the end I probably wouldn’t be able to afford him, never make it to Canada, and end up in jail. Scratch that one.

This one is a mind blower: You switch with a baby. That’s right, you wake up one morning in a crib in the maternity ward of a hospital. The baby suddenly has the body of a full grown adult. Suddenly he has to learn to swim or start sinking fast. My mind has a hard time even imagining what that would be like. You on the other hand are trapped to a body you probably can’t even operate. What if this was some form of reincarnation? You struggle so hard to get the babies motor skills to work so that you can plea for help but it takes forever. Eventually with your last ounce of strength you utter one phrase and the concious of the baby body is born again. Perhaps this is the secret of reincarnation. How Buddhist.

So there’s some body swapping for thought. Enjoy, ponder, but whatever you do please don’t watch any of those films this weekend.


One thought on “The judge reinhold and jamie lee curtis in all of us

  1. You know a lot about wishes. Do you have genie in your bloodline, perchance? Let’s say you are 1/20th genie, you might have the power to grant wishes. But not the full wish, just a watered down version. So like I might wish to be God, but the best you could do is to make me president of the Sister Golden Hair Fan Club, Kansas Chapter. That would be disappointing, but I’d still appreciate that you tried.

    I wonder if anybody has had the audacity to fart on the wish bench while making a wish. If I were the wish bench, I would definitely not grant their wish.

    But all this talk about genies and wish benches and monkey paws is ludicrous. Successful people know that there is only one way to get what you want out of life. It’s called The Secret.

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