Drop me off near the moon

Space, an infinite frontier. Well an infinite frontier for some. For me there is a single point of obsession in this frontier. An obsession known as the moon.

Howling FROM the moon

Honestly, I can’t tell you why the moon is a beacon for my mind but it is. Many years ago I came up with a brilliant idea for our lovely town of Lawrence. One that would make it exponentially better. We take it to the moon. That’s right people, I’m talking about Moonence. Now of course with any great idea about the future you are going to have naysayers. I’ve come across many and heard their claims of how “impossible” or “ridiculous” this idea is. If you disagree, don’t feel bad, from what I understand Moonence is not for everyone but let me lay out my plan for you.

First you start by taking account of all the great places in town you want to take with you. When something moves from Lawrence to Moonence it will require a name change. So when I move Dillons up to the moon for astro-groceries it will become Moonillons or possibly Dirty Moonillons. It’s not just a prefix though. For example: Noodles & Moon. Once we get a line out of the businesses then we move on to people. Now this will depend on true moon believers and the size of the neighborhood dome. I also plan to build a smokers dome on the moon. Just a big crater with a dome that everyone can go to for smoking. Also, the bars will have a jerk exit. This is a chute they will push someone who is a little too rowdy into and they shoot ’em out in to space. Moonence is a peaceful place with modern technology, so it’s best to watch your temper.

Now here is where some friends get awfully upset with me. Once you get Moonence set up and those who are donning their Jr. Cosmonaut suits and have headed up to the mean streets of space, you gotta deal with Lawrence. Now personally, I feel as though you can’t have two. So those left behind will have to disperse and we will raze the town. Sure it sounds crazy but trust me, it will be necessary. If you don’t then you run the potential of people thinking Lawrence is actually Moonence or people thinking they can expand their cities to the moon. Speaking as the Moon Pilgrim here, I don’t want to deal with that. Next thing you know there will be shopping mall domes and Holidome Inn. If your building a moon utopia, you probably don’t want it to become a touristy vacation spot on the edges. Suddenly all of Moonence is swarmed with camera flashes and crying babies. Not my cup of tea. I understand, however, that razing the original down seems drastic but hopefully you see my point. Eventually one day we will build an escalator to the moon for visitors but until then it will be a moon paradise.
No I don’t much care to see the sunset on Jupiter or Mars, just fly me to the moon Frank.

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2 thoughts on “Drop me off near the moon

  1. My name will be Moonarah McMoon. Question: What will happen to things with Moon already in the name? Like Moon pies? Or this guy who was my 8th grade lab partner in Biology, his last name was Moody. Oh, wait, never mind. Moody and Moony are two completely different surnames. Mr. Moody was a terrible lab partner. He was always asking, “Can you eat it?” in terms of whatever we happened to be dissecting, which would cause me to imagine eating the cow eye ball, frog body parts, or what have you. To this day, the smell of formaldehyde makes me a little bit nauseous and a little bit hungry. That guy should not be allowed in Moonence.

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