Litter Beaker

A discussion with a friend got me thinking the other day. Is there actually a laboratory somewhere with scientists constantly working on advances in cat litter? There are so many different kinds of cat litter including synthetic versions, weird pellet deals, news paper. Who are the people working to create these crazy new kinds? Is there a group of scientist who attend parties, constantly bolstering their breakthrough in “clumping” science? Ugh, not a party I would want to be at. However, it could be fun to sit and ask that person tons of odd questions. Trying to find out if their work is fulfilling or if they have an obsession with animal bathroom habits.

The other question raised in this field of “science” is the testing methods. I can picture these scientists creating their new blend of cat litter only to have to test it. In my head this consists of a lab with a litter box on top with cat inside while a group of scientists hover around waiting. Waiting and waiting to see the results of their hard work. I know many of us feel negatively about our jobs at times but seriously, these people are working to create something just to have it pooped on.

“You’re the best in the cat poo field, how could we not hire you?”

An interview for this position would be incredibly awesome and awkward to watch. Anything from the questions (So how long have you studied the chemical composition of cat urine?) to the equally odd answers (12 years). I imagine if you were someone who worked in this field you probably couldn’t have friends outside of it. If you did your friends would probably torment you. You’d be introduced at parties and bars as the “cat poop expert” or the “litter master” which of course would lead to you having to explain what you do. As odd as a litter scientist sounds, it’s probably not as bad as the people who have to work in the marketing department for these companies. Spending day and night coming up with slogans for cat litter. Sounds kind of rough but I’m sure they all have close friends who work in marketing departments for toilet paper companies.

Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

Either way, as odd a thought it is, god bless these people for making it easier to clean up after Ernest.


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