Enrest Borgnine is my roommate, pal, and business partner. He was born in 1934 and after a hard knock life in the mean streets of New Orleans he made his way to Kansas. After putting himself through detective school, he came to me with a proposition. We would team up and enter the business of sleuthing. The world of private investigation presented some problems for Ernest due to the fact that he has no thumbs and is of a miniature scale. That’s where I come in with my human hands. Our team is named E.B. & Thumbs (that’s me). The process is a simple one where I outfit Ernest with recording devices or a camera and set him loose in the home of whoever we might be investigating. His cute appearance and peoples weakness for cats certainly helps out. To this date we have been assigned 25 cases and solved one. I’m not saying we are the best team but certainly one that should be taken into consideration the next time you have a mystery on your hands. Honestly, I thought business would be better considering a bunch teens and a dog were able to do it. I mean really, who trusts a person with a neckerchief or a stoner who’s best and only friend is a dog? And yes, the only case we solved was one I assigned to us: Who puked in the bed? Turns out it was Mr. Borgnine. We’re are definitely starting to get the hang of it though so do keep us in mind for all your sleuthing needs.